So…How many of you out there have been wide-eyed, staring in the mirror at your Aquarian tattoo, when you’re now a Capricorn? Whoops! Not me, I don’t believe in all that star spangled gobbledegook, but a lot of people do and have lived their lives with it. Double Whoops!
Not only have the Star Signs changed, but there’s a new one Ophiuchus. What the fuck? Why the Fuck? and How the fuck? are questions no doubt bouncing around all of your heads right now.
First…What are the new dates:
January 20 to February 16
February 16 to March 11
March 11 to April 18.
April 18 to May 13
May 13 to June 21.
June 21 to July 20
July 20 to August 10
August 10 to September 16
September 16 to October 30
October 30 to November 23
November 23 to November 29
November 29 to December 17
December 17 to January 20
“Oh God, I read my stars this morning and it said I’d win lots of money, but now my new stars says that if I leave the house, my world will fall apart….Arrrggggghhhhh, where’s the nearest bridge, I need to jump!” – I hear you cry. Well don’t panic, apparently many are saying that it only counts for people born after 2009. Phew!! No need for laser surgery people, those tatts are okay. Goddam Moon with it’s gravitational pull. Goddam @Prof_S_Hawking and @ProfBrianCox for not warning all of us, especially those 2 year olds, who’ve gone out and got the water carrier tattooed on their arms, goddam you, I say!
However, the new sign, Ophiuchus, would look better as a tattoo than most, take a look:
Pretty good right? Also, it’s ‘The Serpent Bearer’, cool, right? Yeah, all getting on board now, aren’t we?
So, stop panicking people, you’re star signs are safe. Mystic Meg was sweating there for a while, but, she’s right back in the game and has another sign to ‘predict’ to boot! And @OllyCromack? Relax, you’re still a Capricorn, dude.
Good times, people. The times they are a changing.