Really!! I could be the next 007!! Bold statement? Stay with me here.
I was sat on the London Underground and after catching everyone’s eye, the way you accidently do, my eye-line raised to the little posters along the top of the carriage walls. I see a couple of pictures, but can’t be bothered to read the accompanying copy and then I see a little poster with just text. I read the top of the ad – SIS/MI6 – Did I read that right? My eyes move left to the main heading ‘Would you remember the person who has just left the train?’ and under that ‘Would you be able to describe them?’ Berrrrrlimey! They really are recruiting.
Then it dawns on me. I wasn’t catching those fellow passenger’s eyes, they were making sure that they remembered what I looked like. They’d read the poster and they were actually memerising my face!
As soon as that thought had left my mind, I realised that I was doing the same. Then I thought hold on, that dot above the “i” in that poster, might be a little camera. They’re watching us! They’re trying to gage the right candidates. Needless to say I acted VERY cool for the rest of the journey.
It gets better…no, no, it really does! Or worse, it all depends on your view.
Later, I was on the train on the way out of London. Overground this time, not underground. I was sat idly looking around, but my last thought before I dozed off was of that poster and how I could be the next James Bond. How MI6 were probably watching me right then and there.
I woke to a voice calling down the carriage, but as my eyes opened, I realised I hadn’t heard what the voice said. I glanced around the carriage and saw it…My cue…My chance to prove myself as the next agent. Several people nearby, were all reaching inside their coats. This is the big test!!! I leapt to me feet “GUN!!!!’ I shouted and dived for the nearest terrorrist.
At that point, all those years of training came flooding back and it all became a blur, until I had stopped. I had a guy’s head pushed up against the back of the chair in front. I had his armed nicely locked behind his back and there was blood dripping from his nose. I looked around the carriage. At the two men lying on the floor, at the baby crying and at his unconscious parents.
I’d done it! I’d saved us all and with MI6 watching. I would be the next James Bond.
Then from close by, I hear a slightly high-pitched, nervous and wavering voice…
Disclaimer: No children or parents were hurt during this blog. There was no ‘Black-out attack’ by me or anyone else, on that journey. The likelihood of me becoming an MI6 agent = Zero. However, there actually are posters, on the London Underground, recruiting for SIS and MI6. Cool, eh?