A Nice Blue Christmas Tale…Well, Sort of.

So, Christmas and New Year’s Eve came and went, didn’t it?

We decided to stay home alone this year and it worked out quite well. Started on Christmas Eve, when I queued outside the butchers in the cold to pick up our order of meat. We cooked roast pheasant for dinner and I got to use my gun!!! Not on the pheasant, on the butchers, as they screwed up our order! We ate WAY too much, in fact, we exploded from over eating several times! We drank WAY too much too…No surprise, I guess!  So what did Santa bring me? A hamper of over indulgent food, a huge bottle of hangovers and a fresh bag of humbug!

We did venture out to see ‘Dances with FernGully: 3D’ (Which James Cameron calls ‘Avatar’!). The 3D was perhaps too good! Case in point, we took the glasses off at the end of the flick, left the cinema and looked around the street. “This is shit! Those Pigeons don’t even look real!”. Now I understand what happened to King Harold in 1066! He’d come out of the cinema after watching Avatar and thought, “Yeah, whatever! I’m not going to look stupid again, dodging a fake 3D arrow…” Phadunk!!

So having caught the 3D bug, we bought ‘The Final Destination: 3D’…What a great idea!! “Look, you get two pairs of 3D glasses too!”. So, it’s really not the same as cinema 3D is it? For a start the cinema glasses are quite subtly coloured…The home ones? Bright red and bright blue lenses! You look slightly left, everything’s blue, slightly right, everything’s red, look straight, everything’s yellow! When you do look straight, finding the 3D is like trying to find the picture in those ‘magic eye’ things. You catch a bit and think “That looked cool”, then your other half says something and you look away from the screen. You’ve then instantly lost the 3D when you look back. Even worse, at the end you end up with a headache, without even having the pre-pleasure of drinking!! I suppose in one way, the experience was similar to Avatar. When I took the glasses off, everything looked fucking blue! I hear George Lucas is considering re-working the Star Wars films into 3D. I’d be happy if he just re-worked them, so that the long-eared, cartoon twat wasn’t in them!

On to Twitter, which I started avidly using over the holidays. Hmmmm, That 140 character thing is really going to start pissing me off! Now I’m getting why people start shortening words, though it’s getting a bit silly on that side. Sure, it was kinda cool when Prince started doing it in the late 70’s early 80’s, but it’s getting to the stage where people start using 1 letter for every word ‘W R C V F K G’ – What the fuck does that mean? Know any Vowels? Are they trying to tell me something, or have they just learnt the alphabet in the same way that George Lucas learnt how to fucking count?

Disclaimer: I cannot confirm or deny the death of King Harold, or that he went to see Avatar at the cinema, before the battle of hastings. However, if you take a close look at the Bayeux Tapestry…I may have exaggerated a bit on the exploding…Just a bit and maybe the bit about the butchers. They didn’t screw up the order.

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About Eamon Wyse - Award Winning Screenwriter/Producer and Production Director @writefilmdesign

Award Winning Screenwriter/Producer and Production Director @writefilmdesign

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