Time Thieves

So the clocks ‘Go back’ every year and half the people in the US and UK said ‘oooo we gain an hour’, or ‘We get an hours extra sleep’. The fact of the matter is that we don’t. Thanks to Benjamin Franklin, the government have an excuse to steal an hour of our time throughout half the year, lending it back to us for 6 months, then the bastards take it back again! I’m surprised that they actually told us in the first place! I’m surprised that we don’t have to fill in a whole bunch of forms just to claim it back! My question is, what do they do with that hour for those 6 months? I have two theories on this:

1. They ‘Save’ our daylight in the Arctic. Yup, those poor bleeders, like they haven’t got enough sunlight during the summer months, they really don’t need any more daylight stored there, as they spend 6 months of the year pointing towards the Sun! ‘Oh please, no more daylight, we have enough trouble sleeping as it is!’. Then just when they need the daylight, the government give it back to us, claiming we gain an hour.

2. They need the extra hour to open their portal, like the one in that documentary series, ‘Stargate’ I think it’s called, and this portal lets in the Sock and Underpants Gnomes. yes, those little fuckers are controlled by the Government to drive us scatty. They give them specific orders to steal one sock from every 3 pairs and hide all underpants. You know why? Because they know that this’ll make all your family buy you socks and underpants for Christmas, yes the Government have controlling shares in every Sock and Underwear manufacturer in the Northern Hemisphere.

So there you have it, either way it’s all a trick to make us feel grateful for something, so if you get a chance, save your own daylight, especially during the summer months.

Disclaimer: No Gnomes of any kind were harmed during this blog, not because I was being nice, but because I couldn’t catch the little bastards! When I say ‘Save your own daylight’, do not try and touch or catch the Sun! You’ll A, look stupid and B, if miraculously you can reach that far, you’ll burn your hands!

 

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About Eamon Wyse - Award Winning Screenwriter/Producer and Production Director @writefilmdesign

Award Winning Screenwriter/Producer and Production Director @writefilmdesign

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